hello

Yes.

I thought it was about time to say hello.

Hello.

We didn't speak for a while. Believe me, I didn't forget. It is hard to forget. But remembering often does me in. 

I am well. In the reference system you are used to, I am more than good. Compared to the people-space we shared, I am amazing. From the seat of embodied expectations..let's just not talk about it for the time being. 

I am far away, but the inside-me still needs time to catch up. It will, eventually. The tent I used to carry on my back and which almost turned me into a hunchback turned into a cloak. It is hanged by the side of my bed. I carefully put it on whenever time comes to travel. But, in the meantime, I stay.

It was strange in the beginning, but I think I am slowly getting used to it now. I lie, yes. But I do think labour pains of root- growing are about to pass. I see stuff in the new light.

I speak too vague, yes. Ok.

I have four jobs and one full time doctorate. I know how to make amazing raspberry merengue and up to 17 other meals without using a recipe. I live with a good friend in two bed room one red sofa apartment in the centre of Bristol. We watch movies on projector almost every night. I still spend more money on books than on clothes. It took me 3 days to finish first two books of 1Q84 and I ordered a 3rd on Amazon. It is due to arrive next Wednesday.

     

The weather is crap. I didn't feel summer for a few years now. But I visited Morocco last June and tried to make up for it in 45 degrees Celsius. Didn't really work. But I danced in the desert and rode a camel without fear.

Fear, yes. Guess that's what is different. It melted, through the days of non-summer and people from distant places. Friday nights behind the bar, Sundays in the office and cuddling with lovers I chose made it disappear. When I was in Belgrade last time a friend commented on how I lost it. It is weird to live without it, to be able to sleep through the night and not to have panic attacks. Labor pains, again. 

  

Anyway: Hello.

 I know my English is not perfect

but I found some good proof readers for the official documents

it works for me.

English is perfect to hide behind it

though

And explain, without having to feel

The words of our native languages are engraved in our endocrinology, as well. Not just neural networks. I learned that, too. Ever thought about it? Try it once, when you have time.

Or two. 

I will keep updating this letter.

Now it is late and I need to go.

To dissolve in the different world

yes

and shape some other stories

this story was same too many too many days

that's why I stopped by

to poke you in the back

with 

Hello.