In England, you can drink French wines having universal talk.
In Bristol, I can feel sad for not getting a job but still look over a hill and realize how close I am to my goal- after which, let's be honest, I won't be still nor peaceful. I do not think I will ever be still or peaceful- but that's mine baggage to wear.
Interview today- no job. But yes a person! I met a good person, recently moved to Bristol too and I will see him when I get back. That counts, right? Riiight?
Well, it better count otherwise I would just feel pointless. Almost.
Anyway, drinking French vines having universal talk...
I think I am ready to write about love.
Love.
I love love.
I love the feeling, I love the inspiration I get from it, I love the thrills and chills and waking up with someone's name on me lips. I would also love if it could last longer than few months, as it usually does. I would love the most, to be perfectly frank, if that could evolve to intimacy. Intimacy, between two people (in my case) different sexes, intimacy which takes time to be built. Intimacy, I do not think I will go for ever again.
It just hurts too much.
Being a love kid, geographically handicapped, with everything which happened in between, I seriously doubt I am made for it. Which is a shame, really. Which is, I guess, just another kilo on the backpack.
I can carry it, for a couple of miles.
Couple of continents, at least.
Couple of stories, exchanged glances, mornings of confusion, emails of poetry. And minutes/hours of "will he write back?", "will he call?", "does he like me?" and "Iva, what do you say?" (Jovana, Comi... you get the point)
I never understood why would anyone like me.
I want that to be known.
For there is more of us.
And that's why this is all about. I do not want anyone else to feel like that.
Ever again.
....
Also, I did not get any of two jobs.
Which does not make me very cheerfull.
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oh thou! forgot about the reason though?!
ReplyDeletejob?! why?! move elsewhere?! nice work elsewhere? something calling to come over for some more wine and universal thoughts and talks perrrhaps!
and love!
oh this love is so funny... makes you jump over the sky and hide underground with sorrow sometimes.
always when it comes to problem, you have to ask what the real problem is. how you define love? not just what you feel. but what deeds are into your vision of love? are you searching for yourself or someone else? maybe you don't want to be so much involved inloved dsjkfbirrrrrrrha?!
only if you believe it will happen so. and then when it happens you see it's everywhere. varieties of so.
and there's only question how flexibile you are, what is your definition, how far you can and wish to go. anytime, anywhere you realize we were all born alone, and die alone... and it's not sad at all... between is just amazing combination of loves and tricks and imaginations and wishes and hopes and fears and reasons and past and future and NOW¨! whooohhhooohhohohohohoo! me girl, just keep on flowin'... i'm sure it's just pms :P
job is no good.. try to find happy work for food. explore.. don't get fixed too much with some serious work until you get really ready for love and steady serious job :P hahahhahahahaha jeeejo! volem i tako mi smijesno jer doista nikako da naucimo u sranju vidjet radost! ;)
zato sam tu da podsjetim... :*