14/05

I do not know even where to start
when to where to start
yes

i  smiled in the group of people

and it felt ok

chaos. yes. chaos narrative

that's what Frank would call it

i like my structures, though:

look listen read me trying to create one

i do not dare look at the notes, tho

i will cry i know i will cry

this research business: i never knew it could be so life changing

actually: i never felt it so

strong

before.

i feel blessed, yes: blessed

to be where i am

to get lost confused and found the wee strings of reality again

just to create more confusing tunes on them again

[this one goes out to Jane Speedy

and Viv Martin

and Donna West

and Kyra Pollitt]

žene no:2

women who changed my world

[and it was about time i start putting some references here

says an academic-to-be]

this one goes out 

to the patterns of un-known and un-said

yet to be discovered

yes: this one goes out.

to the ones who taught me how to tame the magic

under the eyelashes.